So freaking mad

OK, so I could be very long winded about how rotten my day was, but I'm going to settle on what got it off to its rotten start. . . . . As most of you know I've been doing a Couch 2 5K program for the past 3 weeks. My goal was simply to get in better shape and better health. It's a 30 minutes per day, 3 days per week program. On day 3 of my first week Aiden went with me, and I noticed my knees were a little sore afterward. Not too surprising considering that I'm overweight and out of shape. I popped some ibuprofen as needed and pushed on into a second week (which was actually still week 1 of the program). No pain, no gain, right? I survived week 2 with some continued soreness, but nothing major. It wasn't enough to make me want to quit. I weighed myself and found that it was working too. I'd lost 3 pounds. The discomfort level increased significantly during week 3 even though I continued with week 1 of the program to be easy on my knees. I limped my way home on day 3 after forcing myself to finish. I vowed to take it easy over the weekend and switched to naproxen sodium for relief. I started week 4 this morning keeping with the week 1 plan and deciding I would be easier on myself. I did a glorified speed walk instead of a jog and kept my stride short and light. Not enough. I limped home in worse pain than ever. I guess my running days and hopes are done. Why am I so mad? I finally found an exercise that I could do and worked. I didn't have to worry about waking up the kids or hogging the TV. I didn't need a lot of equipment. I just had to haul my cookies out of bed early and hit the sidewalk. Now what? I have to stay fat and unhealthy the rest of my life? I know I'm being extreme, but I feel like everything I do is one step forward and 5 steps back. I haven't completely given up. I'm icing my knees as we speak with this handy little cooler thing my mother-in-love received when she had her knees replaced and my hubby used after his surgery. The icing has made it feel better than anything else I've done. Joseph thinks it's just inflammation. He's probably right. It feels like it's swollen even down through my feet. I'll take it easy the rest of this week and try again when the pain goes away. If the pain comes back, I guess I really will give up. ~Heather