It's been a roller coaster of a day, and my brain still feels scrambled. Rylee woke up at 6:00 in the morning (for the 2nd morning in a row) and wanted to play. I was struggling to get awake enough to deal with it and was afraid she would wake Aiden (both kids were in bed with me), so Joseph came to the rescue. Aiden and I slept in, and the morning went pretty well. Then, we went to the birthday party of a friend of Aiden's from pre-school. It was at a martial arts place in Bentonville, and I was really hoping Aiden would like it. I was planning to enroll him in classes if he did in hopes of building up some confidence and self-esteem. Well, that plan is out the window since he started crying before the class even really got started. :( He said he was scared, and that it was loud. Seriously?!?!? At the end of the party he warmed up enough to eat a cupcake and watch Austin open his presents, but I wasn't a very happy mommy.
I wish I could say things improved from there, but no. We went to my mom's to check on the garden and because Aiden wanted to see her after being gone to Oklahoma last week. Before too long there his attitude went south. He wasn't listening, he was back-talking, he wasn't doing what he was told, and the list goes on. Joseph and I both kept getting on to him. We sat him in time out, and Joseph even took him to the bathroom for a spanking. None of it helped for long. Once we thought we had him straightened out, we headed out for dinner. He complained about where we were going and got mouthy about it, so he got another talking to and threats of consequences. This seemed to work. He was quiet on the drive, polite at the restaurant, ate his dinner, and very well-behaved on a little back to school shopping for shoes and shirts. After we got home, he played with Rylee and me and Joseph.
Then, it came time for bed, and it was late. He was giving me the pouty face about sleeping in his room, and I told him he to take it up with his dad. Joseph told him he had to sleep in his bed tomorrow night (which, of course, meant he could sleep in our bed tonight). Well, Aiden wasn't listening and started to cry, so I told him again that daddy had said tomorrow night. Then, he started with an all out tantrum, so I told Joseph to take him to his room (I was trying to get Rylee to sleep). This sent him over the edge, bawling like the world was coming to an end. I could hear him from our living room with his bedroom door shut and knew it took him a while to calm down. When Joseph came back down the hall, he said that Aiden had never heard the "tomorrow night" part. So now, his bedroom and bed are probably going to be viewed as punishment. FAIL!
I just don't understand what I've done wrong. He is so afraid of things that he shouldn't be afraid of - his room, new environments, new foods. I've tried so hard to let him be his own person and not force him into uncomfortable situations that now it's backfired on me. He won't try anything new without a fight. How can I give him new and fun experiences, if he won't even try the most basic of things? Why is he suddenly so full of this attitude? He's always been such a good kid. I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's because he's lacking structure from not being in school for 2 months, or if it has something to do with Rylee, or is it some mysterious thing about being 6 and a half that makes kids try to push boundaries.
All I do know is that I feel terrible, and Joseph and I have to figure this out. I'm glad that I have help, and I'm not going it alone. There's going to be a few (more) tears shed because my greatest fear is being a bad mommy. This would be so much easier if kids came with instruction manuals.
With a sad heart,
~Heather
Day 14 of 365
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