Memory

Why do we give more time and credit to bad memories?  Maybe it's just me.  I hadn't really given it much thought until my Bible study began pushing me to remember periods in my life in an effort to determine when and how God wasn't present.  I'm not even through the second period (for me it's 7 years periods), and I realized that most of the memories that are popping in my head are negative ones.  Why?  Is it just that was the times that I needed God the most, and He was with me even if I didn't know it?  It it that bad memories cling to us and effect for much longer than good ones?  Again, maybe it's just me and/or my particular life experience.  I'm not even sure at this point how to process the idea and what significance it has, but I feel drawn to consider it more.

On the other hand, it's been rather refreshing to think of these negative times in an entirely new view.  I'd never considered God's presence in those rough times.  I mean, I very much believe that everything happens for a reason - the good and the bad.  I just didn't think God was with me then.  I'm sure at the time I thought just the opposite.  Now, I'm looking at it with new eyes and know that He truly was with me then, as He is now.  I can't tell you what a relief it was when this dawned on me last night.  I actually cried to know that I wasn't alone.  I couldn't help but think of the "Footprints" poem and be grateful for the times that He has carried me.  It'll be wonderful to thank Him in person someday, but I'll have to handle it with prayer for a while longer.

If my writing is disjointed tonight, I apologize.  I feeling very exhausted for some reason.  I think I need to get myself to bed before midnight more often.


~Heather


Day 24 of 365