Weight Frustrations

I've hesitated to post anything about this topic because I absolutely hate it.  I have struggled with my weight since I was in junior high, and yet I would love to be the weight I was back then.  I am at a particularly frustrated point tonight.

I've struggled a lot more to lose the last of my pregnancy weight than I did after I had Aiden (it melted off and then some after his birth).  As of this morning I am still 4 pounds away from what I weighed when I got pregnant with Rylee which was only 1 pound more that what I weighed when I got pregnant with Aiden.

Unfortunately, I need to lose a lot more than those 4 pounds.  I need to get rid of about 50, but I would be thrilled with 40.  I just won't go away this time though.  We did a little weight watchers about 3 months ago, but we had trouble sticking with it this time.  We've struggled with it since they went to PointsPlus and 360 wasn't any better.  So we switched more to a Slim Fast plan, but still aiming for our points.  Diet wise it's been pretty easy, but I've only lost 5 pounds in about 6 weeks (maybe even more than that).

I've been blaming hormones, but I think it's just an excuse.  I know I need to exercise, but I just don't have the time for it.  My only real option is to get up in the morning, and I am NOT a morning person.  Plus, I hate to exercise, so I know I will not drag my butt out of bed for it.

Joseph got an Xbox Kinect game/workout thing.  It's kind of cool in that it can "see" what you are doing and tells you how to adjust.  It even puts your imagine on the screen - not sure that's a good thing.  It has a lot of options for workouts, too.  Aiden thinks it's fun.  I actually did a "workout" with it tonight, and it was a real workout.  I sweat a little, and I'll probably be a little sore tomorrow.

The problem was the fight it took to get it done.  First off the machine wasn't recognizing the set up I did last night, so we had to start over.  It took 30 minutes just to get to this point, and by then dinner was ready.  Then, Aiden wanted to play.  Then, I got busy folding laundry.  I finally did the workout.  The next thing I knew it was after 8:30, and Aiden wasn't in bed because Joseph was doing something he probably would have done sooner if I hadn't been working out.  I got Rylee to bed around 9:30 and headed in here to write before I showered and went to bed only to find that bottles needed to be washed and the kitchen was a disaster.

There are so many things in this house I need to be doing other than exercise.  Wednesday is Joseph birthday, and I haven't even been shopping yet.  I need to clean out the pantry.  I need to pack for my Tulsa trip.  I need to post some purses for sale on ebay.  Oh, the list goes on forever!!

It was 10:00 before I got to my desk which had to be cleaned off a bit, and I had to open my Scent and Warmer of the Month (loving the Creepy Crawly warmer!!!).  Then, I wanted to empty the SD card before putting the camera away only to get caught up looking at all the pictures (700+) which was probably a good thing because it put my in a better mood than I was in when I sat down.

Now, it's after 11:15, and I haven't had a shower yet.  Looks like I'll be postponing my hair washing and go for the ponytail tomorrow.

I just don't see this exercise thing working out (no pun intended).  As much as I hate to exercise I need to be healthier, and I just don't know what to do to make it happen.  There is only so much of me to go around, and I cannot keep staying up so late.  Maybe I just have to wait until Rylee consistently sleeps through the night.  Maybe I have to wait until she's older and can play with Aiden on her own more.  Maybe I should just give up and settle for being the way I am.

It's late, and I don't know the answers.  I'm going to bed after I go cry in the shower.  If anybody has some guidance, I am open to suggestions.


~Heather


Day 37 of 365