Worried about my boy

Well, it was Back to School night at Lowell Elementary.  We found out who Aiden's teacher is, met her in the classroom, signed me up as a classroom volunteer, gave Ms. Kim from Kid's World a hug, bought a new t-shirt for me because Aiden didn't want one, and paid for my PTA membership.  I was excited.  Aiden was not.

I've been a little worried about the whole back to school thing.  He has had so much fun during the day with Nana and Popaw this summer and loved his weeks in Oklahoma with Grandma and Grandpa.  This was the first time ever he was completely off because he was in day care and preschool before he went to Kindergarten.  I had hoped that by August he would be missing his friends and the activity of school - not so much.

We've been talking to him a lot about getting back in to routines and trying to prepare him for the transition back to class.  I thought going up there tonight would get him excited.

He was so not even interested while we were there.  He even acted scared.  I have to say I was panicking a little bit.  He reverted back to this shy, picking at his lip, nervous little boy.  When Mrs. Jackson asked him who his teacher was last year, he couldn't answer her.  Where did my I-know-it-all big kid go?  Where was the kid who insisted we follow him because he knew the way from the car?  I kept asking him what was wrong, but he wouldn't talk to me.  Oh my!

As we walked back to the car, I was thinking this is going to be a long weekend because I am going to worry over the new school year.  What if he freezes up on Monday?  What if he hates school now?  What if he gets in trouble a lot?  What if he's forgotten what he learned last year?

Then, the three of us talked a little before we got in the car, and he began to thaw.  He's still not excited by any means, but he doesn't seem scared any more.  All the way home he was doing math.  We quizzed him on a little on reading street signs.  We talked about his old classmates that will be in his class this year.

I'm still worried, but not as much as I was when we were standing in the school tonight.  Monday will come, and he will be nervous.  We will walk him to his classroom and help him unpack his school supplies.  We will leave him there to start an amazing new chapter.  I may even cry a little when we get  back to the car, but hopefully not the ugly cry I did last year that I still blame on pregnancy hormones.

And, I will worry about him all day.  It will be all I can do to wait from 2:45 until 4:30 to get off work and go get him.  When I see his face and hear about his day, only then will I know that it will be OK.


~Heather


Day 33 of 365