Heartbroken

I have to admit that I miss writing in this blog during weeks like this. There is so much going on in the world right now that I want to comment on, so you may be seeing more often for a few days. I want to start with the passing of Robin Williams. Like I'm sure many of you felt, I was stunned when I first saw the news on Facebook. I honestly thought it was another one of those celebrity death hoaxes. Then, I saw there were several posts, and some of them were coming from actual news outlets. Then to read that it was an apparent suicide just floored me. I've watched Robin Williams all the way back to Mork and Mindy (I know I just aged myself), and I was aware of his openness with addiction and depression. I am heartbroken but prayerful. I am not just saddened by the loss of his immense talent so much as I am dismayed that the evil tempter of depression took another life. I have been there. I have been to the bottom of the pit and thought it would be better to keep digging until the earth covered me. By the grace of God, I looked up and began the very difficult climb out of the pit. Yes, I feel back many times, but I kept climbing. There are days it's still a battle to not jump back in and start digging. I ache for the souls that couldn't climb anymore, that fought until they just couldn't fight anymore. I lost my cousin in an apparent suicide, and I can't begin to tell you how many times I've wished I could have done something, anything to help her. There are no words to comfort Robin Williams's family at this time, and they will probably always be haunted by what ifs. I am hopeful that this tragedy will shed some light on mental illnesses like depression. That maybe people will start to realize that it is real, and it is hidden, and it is painful, and that it can effect just about anyone. It doesn't discriminate between rich or poor, talented or average, young or old. I can almost bet that somebody you know and love suffers, probably in silence. We're good at hiding it most of the time, but sometimes it leaks out. Do you dismisses it? I am also scared. For some unknown reason I thought (hoped) that as I got older it would get easier. The battles would be fewer or non-existent. I don't want to fight this demon into my 60s. It's a harsh reality that I will likely endure this enemy for all of my days. I pray that Robin Williams has found his peace.

I pray that his family is comforted by all the positive things he did in his life. I pray that anyone fighting that evil voice knows they aren't alone. Lord, help us all to be more understanding to the hardships of those around us. ~Heather