For several months he hasn't wanted any mommy kisses, so we kinda made a game out of it. I'd try, he'd fight. If I won, he'd rub it off. Giggling all the while I might add.
Let me be clear - this was always at home. I would never intentionally harass him in front of school friends. Our kisses were almost always on the cheek or forehead, seldom on the lips. Not that I think that is wrong (Rylee kisses my lips), but it's never been us.
Then last week he bit me during one of our kiss-fights. In the aftermath he told me, he doesn't want me to kiss him. I was so hurt. I didn't realize he really might AT ALL. We ended up compromising (after a lengthy discussion about expressions of love and being fortunate to have them) on one kiss on the cheek at bedtime. Sometimes I cash in sometimes I don't.
Then today he has been incredibly clingy about my attention. He has seriously worn me out wrestling and tickling and playing. I probably have bruises too, but that's sometimes part of playing with a rowdy boy. He complained if Rylee got involved.
This is also a child that insists on sleeping in my bed with me EVERY weekend he's home.
I don't get it. How can he want my attention so much and not let me return with a little affection? Is it really so bad to have a mom that loves you the whole universe and can't resist kissing your handsome little face?
I get that he's a little jealous of Rylee. I get that he needs some time with me.
I wish he could get that a little piece of my heart is breaking to see him growing up and rejecting me. I knew it would happen. I just didn't know it would be so hard.
~Heather
No comments:
Post a Comment