Believe

I've been absent for a while because I needed a break.  I wanted family and friends to hear about my life in a more personal manner, but that isn't really happening.  I know everyone is busy...

Anyhow this post isn't about being too busy for family and friends.  It's about how God works in my life.

Those of you that know me well (and maybe read between the lines of social media posts) or have followed this blog know that I've struggled some since being laid off from my job in October.

I've wanted to be home with my kids since long before I ever got pregnant with Aiden, but the reality was that I was an employed-mom for almost 8 years.  There's been some adjustment in being home all day with a 2-year-old.

I firmly believe God pushed me over that edge for a reason and in His perfect timing.  There has been no other time in the last 8 years this could have worked (and it's a narrow margin now) financially.

That didn't always quell my doubts and fears.  My greatest fear is failing as a mother.  Without the buffer of our fabulous day care, there was/is a LOT of fear.

I decided to make BELIEVE my one little word for 2015.  I need to active believe God (not just in Him).  I need to believe He put me here now for His greater plan and my own.  I need to believe in myself as a mother, a wife, a business owner, a leader, etc. 

It's a work in progress.  I am a work in progress.  And that is OK.  

I've been a little down side the last week or so, and that's OK too.  And I was starting an upswing.

Many of you will also know how I love a good sign or well-placed coincidence (as if!!) such as songs, words I read, stories I happen across, etc. I'm also a sappy nerd!

During the Super Bowl halftime show, Katy Perry began and ended with my 2 favorites of her songs - "Roar" and "Firework".  The songs resonated with how I was starting to feel - powerful, excited - as a new season is blossoming within me.

Monday morning, I pulled out my Esther Bible study - totally OK that I was 2 days "behind".  It was week 4 day 4 of Beth Moore's study, and of course, we were working on chapter 4.  The end of chapter 4 to be exact.

To say I had an a-ha moment is an understatement.  It was a transformative moment.  God's word told me everything I needed to hear.  It reinforced what I already knew, but it was so powerful.

I am great. I have the knowledge. I am chosen.  I serve God.  

"And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14

Nothing is by accident.  Yes we have free will, but He has plans for us - great plans. All we have to do is believe and follow.

I do believe.  I need reminders for when the going gets tough though.  I really want a tattoo, but I'm chicken.  For now I have to settle for less permanent options.  Lucky for me Scentsy has a shirt and a nightlight warmer with my one little word. My shirt came in last week, so I had Joseph take a picture the first day I wore it.

It's no accident that there is a fire behind me.  I am lighting my fire, so I can shine.  And it will all be for His glory!!

Do you believe?

~Heather